just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's shark week go big or go home
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
