guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize