I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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