wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
