Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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