I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
