she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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