He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
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Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
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he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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