I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
