I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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