Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
