I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
