in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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