I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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