He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
