She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
