singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
