I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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