i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
