Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
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my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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