do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't think brook has ever known best
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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