yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
