I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
