I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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