Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
