i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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