Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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