I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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