Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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