You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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