she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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