So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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