tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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