even my farts smell like vagina
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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