i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
