sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
