I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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