420 ftw
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
