i can't believe i had my finger in that
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize