Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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