It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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