yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
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The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize