One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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