Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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