I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just invented taco cereal.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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