Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
