Kiss
Puke
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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