READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
