butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
