Just cropdusted the office
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
two words...techno handjob
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
