Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You can't special order awesome
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
