Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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