I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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