it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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