dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize