I need help removing her.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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