I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize