Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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