hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
