We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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