hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize