Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
