i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.