you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
