I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I want her autograph on my taint
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
