Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
