I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize