no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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