I think i sorta joined a cult last night
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
