i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
