happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude. I can hear the air.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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